In the end what matters is family

Yesterday I finally got to visit my grandmother, I haven't had any chance to see her since she was first hospitalized. But knowing what cancer can do to a person I was expecting her in the worst of shapes, but eventhough that old yet strangely energetic woman I knew as my grandmother was lying in her bed I was happily surprised by her energy. The best thing is knowing she will be coming back home on tuesday to get her treatment from there instead, a safe relaxing haven where she can gather more strength.
I have only been home for barely three days now, but it already strengthens my soul to be back amongst my family, in the end they are the only ones understanding your situation unfortunately how hard friends and colleagues may try. I am happy my supervisors understood my situation however and sent their regards on my trip home. Still I have to work while here since the stress of the incomplete work so far with the program daily troubles my mind, constantly pulling me between the stress and worries of my grandparents.
What also troubles me now is the worry of my grandfather who is getting worse day by day, and this causes us to expect him to not have that much long time left. My poor grandfather, the sweetest, kindest most lovely grandfather you could have.
It is during times like this I really wished I had someone really close to me, someone dear for comfort. I am happy I at least have the most loving family for help, what would I be without their support anyhow.

I'm trying to do some writing while here also just to let my mind loose and think of something else for a while other than worry and studies. Gathering my inspiration from my stay here in Vargön I hope to write a folklore story unfolding the beautiful landscapes I am looking at each day and night. Trolls up in the mountains, old spirits echoing the memories of the past and simple people down by the mountain cliffs, daily gossiping about the mystical beings that hides in the woods above. I can only hope it will go better with this project than all other my previous writing which has at best only been finished halfway through.

Now the sun shines outside, it is time to feel her grace and feel the wind in my hair again.

Clear skies and only worries

The summer has clearly, unless you've been boring and stayed inside for a month, arrived early to Sweden. Unfortunately I haven't had such a heck of a time lately; no rest for the body or the soul to calm down. With so much going on now with my grandmother and her cancer, and my poor grandfather who gets worse for every day as well, I could really use some comforting silence.

The big problem to this equation however is that I have my master's project and future to think of also. I have not come close to as far as I had hoped before the summer, and I do not like the idea of having to spend every wake hour now to do something about it.

It is at times like this I long back to dear old Vargön with its beautiful calming nature where no demands exist but only being yourself. I wish I could have that all the time, but that's what you have to live without when you don't put a huge university in the middle of the woods but straight at the centre of a big town. Painful but I will make the best out of it all.

Now all I have to think of is going back home to Vargön tomorrow to visit especially my dear old grandmother who I haven't seen even since I heard about her cancer. I will have to stay away from Lund for a long time it seems.....thank god.